Friday, August 28, 2015

Things I Will NOT Miss About San Francisco

Urine. It was the hot topic of conversation as I was leaving, and with good reason. Call it an actual increase or an increase in perception because of the drought, but San Francisco reeked of urine. Especially sad on those days when you saw blue sky and could feel warm sun through the window, then got outside and felt like you were walking through a city-sized urinal. On my last shopping trip in the city I saw a pool of urine on the stairs leading up from the street to the shopping center. Not the kind of memory you want to carry with you.

Burning Man. Late summer is the time of year when I want to scream every time I hear “our camp” or “the playa” because it’s everywhere, all the time. Kudos to the mastermind behind this scheme.

Hipsters. Ugh. Enough already. You’re cool because you’re not cool? You’re ironic and real and in touch and aloof all at the same time? Unpeg your jeans, put on some socks, only wear glasses if your doctor prescribes them, and move on with your lives.

Traffic. Anyone who has had to commute know that it leaves you frustrated and angry and finally dead inside. For the few years I lived in L.A., southern California had the Bay Area beat for ugly traffic. Not anymore. Over the past four years I have watched San Francisco traffic grow noticeably worse. Too bad all of those public transportation systems don’t play better with one another.

Layers. Having to plan a wardrobe change for every microclimate you pass through is tiring. I used to just keep a sweater, a jacket and an extra pair of pants in the back of my car, but as I drove less that became tricky. Hopefully I don’t have to obsess over my weather app and take a backpack of “what-ifs” everywhere I go in Hamburg.

My bitchy neighbor across the street. Yup, calling you out Ms. 819 Florida Street. I have never met someone so narcissistic and the opposite of everything she espouses her neighborhood to be. It makes me sad because I loved being in the Mission—the energy, the murals, the mix of people—and can understand the passion to preserve it. If you took a moment to get to know people instead of assuming they were there to change your way of life, you might have more advocates than enemies. You are not a good person.

Cost of living. If you have lived anywhere other than the Bay Area or LA you know it’s just not normal. Even transplants from other large metropolitan areas (aside from New York) get sticker shock. Seems overdue for another bubble burst. On a related note…

Self-importance of Silicon Valley. I get that the Bay Area is home to incredible innovation and that it drives much of the region’s economy and growth. But there was life before Silicon Valley, and life went on during and after the dot com bust. I feel like a lot of tech immigrants have a myopic view of the world and an inflated sense of their role in it. A little perspective would go a long way, and I’d gladly cede you your bragging rights after you’ve applied your tech to address issues like educational access, institutional racism, sexual slavery, equivocal food distribution, etc.

No comments :

Post a Comment